Dennis Rodman & Kim Jong Un: Podcast #1 Transcript

Rodman and Kim Jong Un

Rodman: Thanks, Glorious Leader Kim. Your palace is balls-out.

Kim: You are welcome, Dennis Redman.

Rodman: We have so much to talk about. We got so much in common. Basketball, being great, fame.

Kim: Don’t forget love for me.

Rodman: Yeah, we both love you, Your Amazingence.

Kim: Donnis and I have fun watching my train set put together by enemies of the throne.

Rodman: Yeah, that choo-choo bad.

Kim: Bad as you wanna be, Radmon.

Rodman: Nothing is as bad your goodness, Perfect Execellentiousness.

Kim: I’m hungry. We eat Pringles. Delicious America Satan treat.

Rodman: So, did you have a good birthday?

Kim: I have only the best birthday every time. All others do not have birthdays.

Rodman: What was your favorite birthday present, Un-Credible?

Kim: [pauses] I guess it was … omnipotence and being always correct.

Rodman: You know what’s really cool, though? You straight up killed your uncle, Dawg of Brilliance.

Kim: Yeah, he did things I don’t like, so I made him dead. I can make anyone dead.

Rodman: Your whole life is like a half-court jump shot, nothing but net.

Kim: Yeah, I make people die and starve. It’s pretty funny, I guess. I’m bored.

Rodman: What do you want to do, Great Magician?

Kim: [sighs] Your name like “Random.”

Rodman: You’re telling me.

Kim: Let’s double-team slave to death real quick.

[five minutes later]

Kim: I want new portrait of me.

Rodman: What should I do with that body, O Holy Beakon of All That Is Correct?

Kim: Make dinner.

Rodman: Let’s get Korean food. I love Korean food. But you know, North Korean. Not that awful, treacherous South Korean food. I mean that Soylent Green you serve here. What the fug is in that shizzat?

Kim: If you will lose again to the Royal Basketball Team, I tell you what’s in it.

Rodman: Sounds good, my man. You really are a fair leader and totally not an insane megalomaniac without boundaries.

Kim: Thanks. I can make lightning.

Rodman: Hell yeah. Like Raiden.

Kim: Raiden wins.

Rodman: Raiden wins. Every time. Fo’ sho’.

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