OK, now that we’re caught up, let’s dive in:
Kermit the Frog (D-NY) once said, “It’s not easy being green.”
He had me at, “It’s not easy being.”
Let’s raise some big questions and then not sufficiently address them: What is stuff? How does stuff differ from junk? In what ways should sundries be considered distinct from oddities?
And where, in fact, are we, if everything is only relative to everything else? And what separates facts from the truth? Do all questions have to end with that squiggly thing.
Considering the fallacy of antecedents, this subsequent barely has a chance. It would be nice if we could all just agree upon some set rules for logic, but it seems that for every stranglehold of empiricism there is a free-for-all of stipulations. Every argument must begin with, “If one accepts that…,” not counting the arguments that don’t.
The discipline of Ontology even calls into question the very nature of objects. Objects are near and dear to my heart. I like to think that pillows exist, for instance. But is it a pillow, or is it a temporary arrangement of energy vibrations that makes my head comfy? Do I sleep on a soft, downy treasure, or is it simply a predominantly repeatable matrix of subatomic bullshit?
You tell me, Bill Nye. You know, if you’re not too busy re-crucifying Christ.
Here’s a good one: Do questions exist? [At this point, I have decided that this is the title of this post, so it won't seem to impactful. But what the fuck ever.]
When transsexuals are first starting out, do they need tranning wheels? Wait, that’s just a pun. OR IS IT?
It is what it is, unless it isn’t. What’s the backup plan if there is no such thing as a contingency? When a bear shits identical snowflakes but no one hears it, is there any way I could reasonably complete this thought.
I like Philosophy, even though it’s a magnet for wishy-washy rhetoric. It’s too bad that it’s so hard to make a living as a philosopher. You have to disguise it. I’m a “writer.” Or I’m a “talk show host.” Or I’m a “spiritual leader.” Philosophy is the second most unpopular thing from Greece after the economy. Because thinking takes energy that could be spent on video games or sex or eating. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Short, sweet, pointless. Just like me.